


Swimmingly

by whitchry9



Series: no more vacations, like, ever [5]
Category: Avengers (Comics), Daredevil (Comics), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Blind Character, Blindness, Canon Disabilities, Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff, Gen, Humour, I APOLOGIZE, Ridiculous, Surfing, Vacation, deafness, madagascar, numerous references to thor's fine physique, stupid jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 20:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2787530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitchry9/pseuds/whitchry9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fury has given up on trying to control Matt and Clint's vacations, and has handed that task off to Agent Coulson.<br/>Which explains why he's the one listening to the story of how Thor and Darcy went surfing in Madagascar with them. <br/>(Mostly because they weren't allowed back in Australia.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swimmingly

**Author's Note:**

> Just a reminder that yeah, this series has a playlist now, yay!  
> http://8tracks.com/whitchry9/no-more-vacations-like-ever
> 
> Also, I've had this one done for more than a month, but haven't posted it because I'm having issues with the next couple. Whoops. But yeah, enjoy, and there are still at least two more coming.

“Pack your swimsuits boys,” Darcy announcing, parking herself in the doorway of the small room. The two men inside ignored her.

“Does he have his ears on?” she asked the one, who was wearing sunglasses and sporting bright red hair. Darcy always had a soft spot for gingers.

“Yeah, I think he's just ignoring you,” he replied.

“Yup,” Clint replied, popping the end of the word like it was a particularly large bubble. “Hey, Darcy, have you ever met Matt?”

“Nope,” she replied, beaming at him. “I'd remember hair like that.”

She skipped over to him and held out her hand. “Darcy Lewis, something of SHIELD, intern of Jane, who is Thor's better half, but don't tell him I said that.”

He took her hand, shaking it gently. “Matt Murdock. I'm a lawyer, mostly.”

“And why are you hanging out with this loser?” she asked, pointing a thumb at Clint.

“I am right here you know,” he complained. They both ignored him. “And just to get this out of the way, because the last time someone didn't know we blew a building up, Matt here is blind.”

Matt waggled his fingers at her.

“Oh?” she asked. He'd shaken her hand with no problems, and he was definitely looking in her direction, which could be due to her speaking, but _still._

“Yeah,” Clint confirmed. “Sam had him defuse a bomb, and you know what he said? Cut the red wire. You can guess how that turned out.”

Matt smiled at her again, even though she'd moved five feet to her right. She shifted back, unconvinced.

“Are you really blind?” she asked, waving a hand in front of his face.

His hand snapped out and grabbed her by the wrist.

“Yes,” he told her.

Darcy wasn't convinced.

Matt sighed. “I have no clue what colour or pattern you are wearing. In fact, your clothes are form fitting, so I'm only assuming you're wearing clothes, because no one has commented on the fact that you're not.”

“Huh,” she said. “Blind but not?”

He sighed again. “I am blind, but I have... well, they're not really superpowers, but my other senses compensate as best they can, and I sort of developed another sense. I can sense things and the space they take up, but I can't see the surface of them.”

“Wow,” Darcy said finally. “Are you a superhero too?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “Sort of. I try my best, but usually I just end up getting myself into trouble. And now that my secret identity's a bust, a lot of my villainous friends are working overtime in an attempt to make my life miserable.”

Clint snorted. “Like you don't do enough of that on your own.”

“That's true,” he agreed. “I've been on more vacations in the last year than I have my entire life, and most of them end in getting arrested or going to the hospital.”

“Let's be honest,” Clint corrected. “You've loved them just the same.”

Matt beamed. “Yeah, I kind of have.”

 

“So where is the guest of honour?” Clint asked.

Darcy sighed. “He's on his way. He had to make a detour to get a snack, so who knows how long it will be before he actually gets here. I offered to wait with him, but he insisted he could find the room on his own.” She paused. “Is this everyone that's going?” she asked, glancing around the room. It was only the three of them. “I thought you needed supervision.”

Clint shrugged. “Fury tried that. He sent Natasha with us, and we got deported.”

“Not deported,” Matt muttered.

“He sent Sam with us, and we blew up a building,” Clint continued, ignoring Matt altogether.

“We didn't,” Matt insisted. “We saved people from a bombing. No one was hurt. Mostly.”

Clint rolled his eyes, but continued.

“And then he sent Steve, that's right, Captain America himself with us, and he started a peasant uprising in Latveria. I think he's just given up entirely.”

Matt smiled at that. Fond memories apparently.

 

“So he's going to let you, me, this guy, and Thor go off on our own?” She was skeptical.

Matt shrugged. “Apparently. One of the cons is that we have to fly commercially though.”

He looked very disappointed at the thought.

“I could fly us,” Clint told them. “It's just Nat that won't let me fly her.”

“It's done,” Darcy declared, not really caring if Clint was the worst pilot in the world. (And he very well could be. She'd seen him drive before, and the way he played Mario Kart was terrifying.) “It's that or fly by hammer, and one is definitely preferable.”

 

The owner of said hammer chose that moment to arrive, throwing the door open grandly.

“Hello friends!” Thor boomed. “Has Lady Darcy told you of the good news yet?”

“I left it for you to tell, big guy,” she said, reaching up to pat him on one of his massive shoulders.

He beamed. “I desired to try the sport I saw on television, the one that uses the boards in the water.”

“Surfing,” Matt corrected.

Thor nodded. “Indeed. I have heard that the best places to do so are in Australia, the land which also has fearsome beasts which I one day hope to see. But since you are... less than welcome there now, Darcy has booked us passage to another island.”

“Oh god,” Clint moaned, pressing his face in his arms.

Darcy glared at him. “Is there a problem? You haven't even heard where we're going yet!”

“It doesn't matter,” he said, muffled. “You decided with Thor's guidance. I don't want to go anymore.”

Thor frowned, and that was a sight to behold.

It nearly made Darcy cry. It sure made her want to.

 

“Look at this face,” she ordered. “Can you deny this face?”

Clint looked up.

“No,” he admitted, softening. “Swimsuits you said?”

“Damn right,” Darcy replied, grinning wickedly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“What are you waiting for?” Coulson asked.

Clint looked uncomfortable. “Usually this is when Fury makes a snide comment about getting to the part where we blew something up or broke a country.”

“I'm not Fury,” Coulson replied. “And while I recognize that Miss Lewis may be providing too much detail, I am willing to listen in case it provides important information for later.”

Clint shrugged at Darcy. “Keep going then, I guess.”

“Gee, thanks boss man.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Madagascar,” Darcy sighed happily, peering out the window of their hotel rooms. They were gorgeous, and had a full view of the beach, and nearly made up for length of time it had taken them to get there. Considering that Madagascar was an island, it was a lot bigger than she'd expected. She also hadn't seen any lemurs yet, but she wasn't sure if that was a real thing, or just from movies. And even then, they probably wouldn't be in the cities.

She had hope though.

 

Thor had been so excited at the sight of the beach and waves that she thought they'd be struck by lightning. He had left Mjolnir back at home, thankfully, but Darcy wasn't entirely sure how his lightning powers worked, and she didn't want to find out.

But Matt seemed to be an expert at distracting him, and they'd gone off to find a place for dinner.

 

“So your sight was taken in a valiant battle?” Darcy heard Thor say as they walked off together.

Matt laughed and began to explain.

 

“Nice rooms,” Darcy told Clint, throwing herself on the bed she'd claimed for herself. They had two rooms, each with two king sized beds, and they'd had to flip coins to see who would bunk with Thor. The guy could snore to move mountains.

Clint ended up being with him, and Matt ended up with Darcy. She was cool with that.

 

“Ooh, is that a minibar?” she exclaimed.

Indeed it was.

“We are so getting drunk tonight,” she told Clint, who nodded eagerly. “None for Thor though. He'd drink all of it and maybe get buzzed. Besides, we need a designated driver.”

Clint snorted, and made grabby hands for a drink, which Darcy happily provided.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Coulson sighed. “Mistake. Huge mistake.”

“Me and Darcy being alone together, or us drinking?” Clint asked.

“Yes,” Coulson replied.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They were both pleasantly buzzed by the time Thor and Matt got back.

 

Matt sniffed the air.

“Someone's been living it up,” he said dryly. “Thor and I found a restaurant down the street that has excellent reviews, and smells fantastic. You know, if you can get up.”

Darcy could get up, of course she could.

“I'm up,” she announced, her vision dimming slightly from the sudden change in position. “The alcohol here is fabulous.”

Matt ran his fingers over a label. “At that percentage, no kidding. Come on, let's get some food in you. Clint, you good on your own?” he asked more loudly.

Clint stuck his thumb up.

“Yeah,” he said. “Little help Thor?”

Thor basically lifted Clint off the bed and set him on his feet. It was hilarious for some reason.

 

“Let's walk together,” Darcy told Matt, taking his arm in hers. She could totally lie and say that she was helping him walk, but from what she'd heard, his senses were good enough to allow him to get around on his own. In fact, it was more like he was helping her.

She'd take that though, if it meant she could be close to him. She really loved his hair. So red. She wondered if he knew how red it was?

 

“Hey big guy,” Clint said amicably, bumping into Thor's arm a bit. Maybe on purpose. Maybe not. Hell if Darcy knew. She'd certainly bump into Thor's arms on purpose, but she wasn't sure if Clint swung that way.

She giggled, and nearly tripped over a tree root. Matt held her up.

“You're a bit of a lightweight,” he commented.

Darcy shook her head. “Nah. Jet lag does this to me, but the drinks sure didn't help. Anyway, look at Clint. You think he'd be doing better considering he has to keep up with Natasha, but noooo.”

Matt smiled at her.

“Oh, I said look. Is that like, offensive? I can stop. I can _try_ to stop anyway.”

Matt chuckled. “No, it's fine. I've been blind for more of my life now that I've been sighted, and even people who've only known me during this time slip up. In fact, my best friend manages to screw up at least once a week, and still apologizes every time. I honestly don't care. They're just phrases.”

 

The rest of the walk passed quickly, and they soon arrived at the restaurant.

Matt was right, the food did smell fantastic, and it tasted even better.

And maybe there were a few more drinks. Or maybe a few more than a few, but whatever. She was on vacation!

 

The rest of the evening was mostly a blur.

She remembered being poured into bed by Matt, and she felt bad about making him do that for a bit, before she fell asleep and forgot.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So Mr Murdock put you to bed?” Coulson asked.

Darcy nodded. “Yup.”

“Nothing else happened?” he prodded.

Darcy frowned, before her face contorted into a horrified expression. “God no! Matt's a good guy, he would never do anything like that.”

“Matt wasn't the only one there,” Coulson pointed out. “Nor was he the one who was just as spectacularly drunk.”

“Sir!” Clint protested.

“I'm just checking Agent Barton, calm down,” Coulson replied evenly.

“God no,” Darcy huffed. “I slept. The end.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next day she woke with a splitting headache, and Clint didn't seem to be faring any better. They spent most of the day in the hotel while Matt and Thor went to the beach.

 

Thor returned in the evening looking damp and joyous. He was exhilarated, much like a puppy that had been allowed to run through puddles for the first time.

“I love surfing,” he declared proudly.

“He was pretty good at it,” Matt admitted. “Got the hang of it rather quickly.”

Thor beamed. “Thank you Matthew! Will you join me tomorrow?”

“Ah, no,” he said quickly. “That would not go well for me. Perhaps Clint or Darcy will though?”

Darcy considered it. “Sure,” she said, shrugging. “When in Rome and all that.”

“This is Madagascar,” Thor informed her.

“Yeah buddy,” she said, sighing while Clint chuckled behind her. “Yeah it is.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Oh, yes. I've been asked to tell you, by the government of Italy, to please never bring Thor to Rome. Please. They were very specific about this, and the number of pleases.”

Darcy frowned. “Okay, but I'm not going to be the one to break it to him if he ever shows interest in going.”

Coulson looked pained by that, and Darcy knew that he had seen Thor's sad eyes.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning she crawled out of bed to look for coffee, and found Thor and Clint having an animated discussion in sign language, which apparently Thor was fluent in because of Allspeak. Matt was also sitting with them, filling in a crossword. She didn't ask, and turned her attention back to the other men. Darcy watched them for a minute, the movements dizzying. She shook her head, and went back to the coffee search.

Clint had already been there though, and had left a trail of destruction that could only belong to him.

“Clinton Barton!” she bellowed, and while both Thor and Matt turned to look at her, one unnecessarily she might add, the man in question did not.

“Thor, tell him I'm gonna kill him. And to put his ears back in so I can yell at him properly.”

Thor looked amused, but signed something to Clint, who quickly spun around and looked horrified.

Darcy hoped that wasn't a reflection of her appearance, but instead her anger.

“You made a mess of the coffee,” she growled, knowing he could read her lips. “Fix it,” she demanded.

Clint nearly tripped over his feet getting up to obey, and she took his place at the table.

“Morning,” she greeted, slightly more cheerfully now that coffee was on its way. “So Thor, surfing today?”

Thor lit up and began to explain to her how it worked.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Clint has been told a number of times about proper coffee etiquette,” Coulson said, fixing Clint with a glare that would have had level one agents wetting themselves.

He only waved a hand. “Yeah, and it clearly hasn't stuck.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Surfing, when she thought about it some more, was probably a mistake. When Thor was by her side, holding her up so she could balance on the board and practice falling off, it was easy.

When he left her to do it all on her own, in the middle of a freaking ocean, well, it was less easy. Downright hard even.

 

So she fell off and might have hit her head off the board a bit and then gotten all mixed up in the wave she had hoped to ride. (Which was _so_ not happening at the moment.)

She forgot which way was up for a minute, and surely there had to be an easy way to tell, where was the light, and she definitely couldn't die in Madagascar because Jane would never let her live it down, and why wasn't Jane on the trip, it was her boyfriend after all, and there was water up her nose and in her ears and she forgot whatever made her want to try surfing in the first place.

 

There were arms around her, very large and very strong arms, and suddenly she was pressed against a chest.

A very fine chest.

She felt a bit lightheaded, even as Thor carried her from the water and set her on a beach towel.

“Do I need CPR?” she asked faintly. “I think I need CPR.”

Thor laughed. “Nay, you fare well. Although it was quite a fall you took. Are you alright?”

Darcy took stock of her body. Nothing felt broken. Bruised, definitely, scraped in some places, but not broken. Water was a lot harder than she'd expected it to be.

 

“Are you okay?” Matt asked her, concern evident on his face. “I saw you take a spill. I couldn't see you under the water, but thankfully Thor pulled you out.”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “I'm fine. I mean, I think so.”

Matt paused, waiting silently for a moment, then nodded. “Your heart rate is getting back down to normal. I imagine you were pretty freaked out?”

Darcy laughed nervously. “Yeah a bit.”

She looked up to Thor. “You know what big guy? I think I'm gonna take a page out of Matt's book and spend the rest of my time on the beach. Where it's safer.”

Thor frowned, but nodded. “Of course. Whatever you think is best. But do not allow this one incident to stray you from the path of surfing.”

Darcy frowned, trying to follow that sentence. “I just don't think I'm cut out for it,” she assured him.

He nodded again. “You will watch over her Matthew?”

Matt nodded. “I will keep both eyes on her.”

Thor lit up. “That was a joke, yes? Because of your lack of vision?” He sounded pleased.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Yes, it was. Now go ride a wave or something,” she told him, shooing him with her hands.

Thor beamed, and spun around, his wet hair glistening in the bright sunlight. God, he was gorgeous. If only Jane were here to see this. She'd be drooling.

 

She turned to Matt instead of gawking at her best friend's boyfriend. “So what do you even do on the beach? Get a tan? Because let me tell you, you're ginger and pale. Irish I'm guessing? You are not going to tan. You will burn, and it will hurt. Don't tan Matt. Just don't.”

He laughed. “Yes, I know that. And no, I don't tan. Plenty of sunscreen, thank you. I brought an umbrella yesterday, but with the wind, it wasn't worth the effort.” He gestured out to the water, and Darcy felt it then. The same wind that was responsible for making the waves nice for surfing was continuing up the beach. It wasn't huge, but with a giant umbrella it would become an enemy that perhaps even Daredevil couldn't defeat.

“I mostly listen. Think. Nap. I don't get a lot of actual vacation time, to be honest. The last couple of vacations I've been on were not at all relaxing.”

Darcy laughed. “So I've heard. Well, maybe you can talk. Tell me about yourself, tell me about Daredevil. Tell me about this best friend that manages to stick his foot in his mouth every time he speaks to you.”

“Foggy?” Matt asked. “We met in college. Roommates, if you can believe it.”

 

Darcy settled back on her towel, closing her eyes to feel the warmth on her face. She let Matt's words wash over her.

He spoke of meeting Foggy, of law school, of starting their own practice together. She listened to him talk about his childhood, his father, the incident that made him blind but gave him so much more. She heard about his father's death, and his subsequent foray into vigilante territory. And she heard about his adventures of Daredevil.

She fell asleep somewhere around the third mention of Stilt Man (and honestly, what a terrible name) and she had to say, it had been one of the best afternoons of her life.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So the one trip where you went without supervision, except for a god and a former intern, was the trip where you actually didn't get into a giant mess?” Coulson concluded, glancing between his notes and the two men.

Clint scratched his head. “Yeah?”

Coulson sighed, shaking his head. “I don't understand you.”

“Me neither sir,” Clint replied cheerfully.

Matt only shrugged.

“I feel like my input isn't really being asked for here,” Darcy mused.

“Thank you Miss Lewis,” Coulson said, effectively dismissing her.

She stood up, glancing between all of them again. “Let's do this again sometime?” she suggested hopefully.

Coulson laughed. “Never.”

She nodded. “Fair enough,” she sighed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really think I need to apologize to Madagascar? I mean, nothing got blown up or anything, so as far as vacations go, this was a pretty good one.


End file.
